Byline: Interview by FRANCES HARDY by Pete Waterman
SOMETIMES I feel like the only person left who's never watched The X Factor -- although I might as well be glued to the wretched show every Saturday night for all the respite I get from the interminable, vacuous gossip about it.
Every newspaper and magazine I pick up is full of it. It takes some doing to avoid hearing about it on TV and the radio. And each Monday morning I'm treated to a digest of the latest show as I travel by train to work.
You might think my fellow commuters -- businessmen, a clutch of lawyers and a smattering of stockbrokers -- had better things to discuss on the two-hour journey.
Our ailing economy perhaps, or the state of public transport? Apparently not.
They witter endlessly about who's been ousted from the competition and whether they should have stayed put.
In between the talk about the contestants, I learn what sage pronouncements the four judges -- Dannii Minogue, Louis Walsh, Cheryl Cole and, of course, Simon Cowell -- have made in the latest episode.
And next Monday, I'll no doubt endure the opinions of every armchair pundit in the carriage on the subject of the winner. For tomorrow is The X Factor final. I know this because the frenzy of speculation has grown these past few weeks.
A trio of blameless nonentities are vying for the top prize. I'm acquainted with the three of them merely because I've been told about them. Repeatedly.
So I can inform you there's a single mum called Stacey Solomon, an unmemorable 18-year-old called Joe McElderry and an office worker called Olly Murs.
Which one will carry off the [pounds sterling]150,000 (e166,000) prize and the coveted recording contract? I don't have a clue. What's more, neither do I have any interest in finding out.
Tiffany NecklaceI haven't ever seen any of the finalists. I haven't heard them sing. But I can guarantee they all have decent but unremarkable voices, no discernable personalities -- and some heart-rending tale to tell about a granny who's died, a distant cousin with a drug habit or some other such sob story.
Will any of them have the elusive X Factor? Absolutely not. And I can promise you another thing -- when the interminable farrago of karaoke wailing and crooning is over for another series, we'll barely hear a peep out of this year's winner again.
THERE have been a couple of honourable and rare exceptions to the rule. Leona Lewis is a fine singer whose career has blossomed since she won The X Factor in 2006, and rightly so. She is now a multi-platinum-selling artist with three Grammy nominations to her name.
But she was, of course, establishing herself as a star well before she sang a note on the show -- as a performing arts graduate, she had signed a record contract with Simon Fuller -- and would have succeeded even without Mr Cowell's intervention.
And then there's that superb boy band, JLS, who were runners-up last year. They managed a No 1 single without Simon's doesn't mentoring. They endure because they have genuine ability and have worked extremely hard since appearing on the show.
But can any of us remember more than a couple of the legions of nobodies who've preceded them? I hear a deafening silence. My
embroidered patches point is proved.
So if you were to ask me who the real X Factor superstar is -- the most enduring, unforgettable personality of the show's ent
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